Tuesday, August 29, 2017

I'm just an outline of what I used to be
Constantly evolving
Steadily revolving 

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Demoiselle

Most girls fall in love with guys who give them flowers and white lies.

Mine begs to be different.

But the lies weren't just white ones.
And I never got flowers.
Yes, I fell in love.
And it wasn't with a guy.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Those voicenotes

There was a sudden urge to open some "stale" accounts which I last saw months or even years ago.
To my surprise, I found some sweet voice notes.
I never thought I managed to save them.
I'm not sure how to feel now.
I'm partly-thrilled, partly-cut.
Cut deep, deep down.
How could this voice arrest my soul like this?
Stupid .amr files.
I'm pinned to my seat now.
Oh God.
IMYSB.
*sobs*

#word

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

1002H

Some things happen swiftly
You cannot register everything
That voice still resonates in my veins
The sound was clear as crystal
But the thought was not
I stared at the entity confused as I am
Words were halfway to my lips
But I opted to keep the moral high ground
Got a taste of fresh mortification
And I'm still reeling
My body's all curled up
While my thoughts are all scattered in the air
My heart's seems to cling to a familiar place
Now my subconscious pouts at me petulanty,
looking perturbed
Everything took place under duress
In extreme circumstances
Some scenes cut you, spot-on
Some words just flow endlessly, droning on and on
And feelings could then increase, decrease
...or cease.

L A N Y ♥


It only takes a LANY song to fill in my gaps lately.
LANY keeps me sane.
Listen to the lyrics of their songs.
Just. Oh my.
I find myself wafting into work every single day, sitting all-day smiling while playing LANY tracks, then waft home again playing the same set of songs.
How could I just not?
How could some words be like salt on sore skin?

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

1927H

You cannot ziplock love, but you can lock lips.
Pretty much the same thing? ♥

Friday, July 14, 2017

1805H

I have always had this profound conviction that I'm not like everyone else, and there is an amazingly thrilling new life waiting for me just around the corner.

Monday, July 10, 2017

Verbose

Jotting down some of the unplanned thoughts running in my head for a while now:

♥ Fall countless times, get up at least 10x the fall, no matter how hard
♥ Discover new music and underrated artists. Embrace their rhythm and versatility. Chew the lyrics and feel the vibe
♥ Pick your battles. Not all is worth your time and effort
♥ Do not try so hard to reciprocate every. Single. Thing. Again, selection is key
♥ Forgive, but never forget (in time, but not so easily. Yes, that's a new mantra I've learned). Recollect the lesson and the gravity of the actions one can do to you so the next time they attempt to hurt you, you get to be "a little wiser"
♥ A "Facebook like" is not always simply just a hit in that LIKE button. It could mean something else, depending on the doer of the action, and of course, the recipient
♥ Filter your feed. Simply bc you can. It indeed feels good to unfollow people in social media. More than 50% of those who blow up your newsfeed isn't really as worth-knowing about as you thought
♥ Ppl may irk the sh*t out of you from time to time. Keep your calm, but learn to get back if needed. This does not necessarily mean you get to be involved in a brawl or something. Life can be a b*tch sometimes, so let them get their own dose of karma. Being kind is different from allowing yourself to be abused, whatever manner that may be
♥ It's okay to be socially selective. Most ppl do not clarify their true intentions, hence, you should reserve the right to say NO whenever needed
♥ Skills could never be stolen. Harness whatever you got
♥ What others think of you is none of your goddamn business. Let them all get nosy and cray in their heads. Just do what you have to as long as it hurts your own butt, not theirs
♥ Choose wine over beer, even if it means you have to shell out a little more than if you would take the latter. Yay to health benefits, nay to bigger tumtum
♥ Never get tired of competing with yourself. Set targets and long-term goals, but appreciate even the simplest milestones. Go grab some ice cream for each one
♥ Cry when you feel like it. Let it all out until you feel like you've already cried enough and you're ready for the world and all its possible outtakes
♥ Just love and love and love, even if it sucks out the very last bit and piece in (and of) you. You still end up winning. No one loses in love, so long as it is given with all of what you have
♥ Some things deplete over time, even the ones you cherished and prayed for
♥ Attention given at the bare minimum does not deserve to be called one; it's prolly pity, otherwise monotony
♥ Nights, no matter how dark they are at the moment, will always turn into the morning. It only takes less than half a day to see the sun again, beaming at you, tacitly asking you to do the same for the world

All the love, mimi. xx

Sunday, July 9, 2017

Stagnancy

It creeps me deep inside
Something that haunts me even at night
Have you ever felt afraid of staying just right where you are?
Any progress? Any improvement?
Just there, the same. Old. You.

They go there, they do this

And there you are, fiddling your thumbs
Not fully decided of the path to take next
They say it's all about timing
But it pains you to think that time is a huge bomb
And you got to do more, you need to do more

You ache to make the most out of everything

Yet there you are, a stale cigarette sitting at the corner
You got light up and burn, and now you got all consumed

Your own time shall come

And they shall see
Stop being clever fixing the world
Be wise and mend yourself instead
Appreciate the little things for now
For you are a work in progress
And that is totally okay

Oh, this album

So much feels.
Even until now.
I just feel like these songs already became part of my core.
Prolly bc it represents a remarkable phase in my life.
Not sure I wanna rewind all, back to every single fragment.
But yeah.
This album will always be a part of me.
xx

Saturday, July 8, 2017

By choice

...I care about what we do and what else we can do
but I can't help to think of what you did as well

I shudder at the thought of you and I

Your smile used to be the bonfire to my reticence
Your skin was the beacon to my inaudible longing
Your presence was my comfort zone
Spending time with you was my definition of paradise
You weren't just my peace
You were my passion gingerly outlined
I thought you were my anchor
But anchors are for firm grips, they do not hold you back

From how it all was, to the way we are now
Or should I put it, the way we were
I'd like to keep you in my pocket,
but you're not mine anymore to keep
I'd like to think you are there, watching over me
I'd like you to open the windows to my soul
You are my liberating place, or at least you should have been
But we took more than two strides away
Perhaps you do not know
I accustomed myself to every inch of you
Subtly. Gently. Lovingly.

Through time and tides apart
I reserved some things I thought you deserved
But now we're miles away

Not by distance
But by choice

Friday, July 7, 2017

Last Dance

I'm sorry if I've wasted your time
I've done my best to provide
Oh it's just never enough for you
All I've left is my pride
Will you stand right with me through the end
Or will this fight be our last
Our last dance
Our last dance

** And these lines have the power to cut me deep, spot on.
So I just had to post this.
I cannot believe one of my girl crushes liked my photo on Instagram.
Huhu. Why you do this, Ornusa?

I started liking her just recently, so I got surprised to see her name in my notifs, and that she tapped that Instag heart button.


Huhu.

I cannot.
Myyy hearrrtttt. ♥

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Every lost girl I know is over eighteen

Oh, Gemmie. You're one of them. *sighs* (pause) *sobs*

It will all make sense. Soon enough.

I guess I'm loving the beauty of being lost sometimes.
It gives yourself some kind of glorious halt in the middle of life's busy circles.
#adulting seems to be harsh word, a hasty thought.
It suggests a thick layer of invisible pressure to prolly anyone my age.
It makes you think that everyone's given the same 24/7 timeframe package, yet wth are you doing with your dear life?
It can be really, really painful in the arse.

Now I'd opt to take a pensive sip in my almost-empty coffee cup.
Not even sure the caffeine is kicking in.

Oh, where am I going with this?

I just guess I haven't felt my own for so long, and I had to let out some thoughts.
I know, it's pretty weird since I've embraced full independence for more than a year already.
But there's that kind of longing for taking an additional stride to be me, express me, love me, and remember the essence of being me.
Know what I mean?
I consider myself to be in the constant, lowkey pursuit of finding a life of transit through experiences in a no-pressure manner, but still trying to set goals for the long haul.
I try to pat myself in the back everytime for every single achievement.

Everyone needs that.

I appreciate and gladly welcome the now.

I thank the universe for every learning and every deep thought life gives me, making sure I still feel something in my solar plexus.
Late night thoughts and sudden surges under the splendid bliss of shower sessions strangely have that weird capacity to hit you hard.
Albeit, the buzz of uncertainties excite me.
Bigtime.

These, and all, I am thankful for.
Some things you may not understand to date, but why fret?
Things will unfold in its own phase, in its own form.
Life calls for that ability to read bet. the lines.
Some things do not come in their simplified form.
Get lost in life's circles, but never stop.
It's okay to pause.
But no stalling. Just keep going.
Move foward, always.

#SalamatUniverse ♥

#playlist for today


Frantically decided to have myself submerged to the upbeat tracks by these awesome artists:

- Jheine Aiko
- DVSN
- Roy Woods
- Ella Mai
- Trey Songz
- Sza
- Kehlani (bc you so damn important ♥)
- Tinashe
- Sevyn Streeter
- The Weeknd
- Ruth B.
- Kevin Garrett

And course, my all-time fave, WILLIAM SINGE ♥ [insert a zillion hearts and flowers right here]


* special mention to those names highlighted you guys are extra, extra awesomesauce this hellavah week *


Just some of my top picks, esp. for the time being. Keepin' me sane all-day at work and at home.

Which reminds me, I have to buy new speakers for home use.

Music is def life in a thousand sets of notes and beats. Makes me think, it's been a while since I tapped my almost-forgotten muZic life. It's been in a really, really long hiatus. Tbh, I guess my vocal range went all the way down from Soprano to Alto (or maybe even baritone lol if I continue to ignore it haha).


So you perhaps pretty much get it that I'm also one of 'em girls who's into hood music despite the kikay facade. I could go all the way from old tracks to the new ones that millenials surely know. That's a beauty of music. It can take you anywhere in just a jiffy.


I precipitously thought, have I misplaced my inner tune? I somehow forgot part of my music world, I suppose. I miss the palpable exquisiteness of spending time to ripen my skills in strings X chords X arbitrary compositions. When was the last time I took a contemplative seat, laid hands on a plain paper with an itchy pen, and actually written sets of words waiting to be baptized with their own, holy tune? I can't quite recall, tbh.


Hay life. Give me enough creative juices to come up with something really, really nice.

So many catching-up to do.


#TiwalaLang. ♥

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

If your heart still beats perfectly without something or someone you achingly wanted to have, you are fine. You are doing fine.

Star 💫

Irregular scheds. Multiple priorities.
Some adulting things, all scattered, every day.
Billion thoughts every minute, how do they all fit in my head?
Now, I suddenly ask myself, when was the last time I saw stars?
When was the last time you laid eyes on something bright?
Something that sparks and twinkles, glows in its own light.
Sometimes warm, sometimes cool.
Causes you to fantasize and drool.
Something distant, yet you ache to reach.
Something you'd love to gaze while chilling by the beach.
But then I've come to ponder,
It's not the blue blanket's twinkling forms of matter.
It's only you, my star.
It's you.
"It's", not in the form of "it is", but rather, "it was".
And. YOU.
MY. STAR. 💫

Sunday, June 4, 2017

365th ♥



clover.clover.

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Friday, March 10, 2017

"Sabay nating gawing kahapon ang bukas."


Sweet. *tears*
This line is brief yet totally makes me burst into a million pieces

I'm currently feeling some wet form of matter pooling in my eyes.
This line is from "Ikaw at ako" by Johnoy Danao.
So yea, I've been a (lowkey) fan not so long ago.
The world needs much more artists like this J guy.
Since I was a kid, I've been a Rey Valera fan. (very tita, yes)
I think Rey and Johnoy are pretty much similar in some kind of awesome way.
I vividly remember the time I saw him in person while holding the hand of a partner, wayback 2015.
I had no words. Totally in awe of him, spellbound by his rhythm.
If you haven't heard of him (or any of his songs), Google him. Now.
My tummy's churning right now.
So much feels. The lyrics. The melody. His soothing voice.

#NowPlaying ALINLANGAN buy Johnoy Danao ♣